Everybody always thinks I’m a vegetarian. In college (and on really bad hair days in law school, which was every day), I was told it was because my hair was really long and wavy and kind of frizzy, and I wore turquoise, and animals are cute, and I love them, and I don’t eat fish, and well, duh, vegetarian! Although I’m kind of on-board with making any and all assumptions based on one’s hair, I am just not a vegetarian, or at least not today.
In college, I couldn’t afford to buy meat so I was a vegetarian. I ate a concerning amount of tofu until one day I broke out into a body rash from too much soy. My vegetarian roommate shamed me and now I’m scared of soy. I’m also scared of deodorant, so, wait, am I a vegetarian? After I watched Food Inc., I was a vegetarian for 72 hours, okay maybe 48, okay for, like, one night or something. After reading An Omnivore’s Dilemma, I was super self-righteous for about a day, and then my mom wouldn’t make anything else for dinner, and I was home for the summer, and so I had no backbone and I carved the meat off of the chicken’s. Ouch! That was bad. There was a long stretch of time where chicken made my mouth really, really itchy, my lips would get red and bumpy, and a lump in my throat would start to form. My doctor said it was the preservatives the chicken was pumped with. I went on a chicken strike. I guess you could say I am still on a chicken strike because, honestly, chickens are monsters these days! They’re all pumped out, caged up, and angry. Poor things can’t even stand! Or are those the turkeys? Well, they can’t move either. The only animals that seem to get any activity these days are the cows, and they’re bleached, and sitting in their own feces, and unhappy, and eating corn, and how can we keep consuming them in California when giving up just 4 lbs could save the same amount of water as if you didn’t shower for an entire year?
Even though I’m not a vegetarian, I still have vegetarian struggles, like trying to eat enough protein. I’ve begun to enjoy finding surprising ways to incorporate protein into my diet. That’s where today’s post comes in. I make these little fellas and sprinkle them on almost everything. They’re good to have on hand for extra protein, extra flavor, or to eat straight out of the jar as a snack. But I warn you: I once made salt & vinegar roasted chickpeas and that became a dire situation. Do not eat 2 cups of chickpeas in one sitting. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then, well, bless your sweet, naive, innocent heart.
I love vegetables, legumes, people with long, wavy, frizzy hair who wear turquoise. I love it when animals are treated right, and until more of them are, I don’t want to eat them. But I’m just not a vegetarian. So, I eat the well-treated animals when I can and continue finding eyebrow-raising ways to incorporate non-animal protein into my food, like black bean brownies, which are coming up. Enjoy!
What You Need
2 c chickpeas
2 tblsp olive oil
1/4 tsp: coriander, cumin, smoked paprika
1/2 tsp: sriracha, salt, za’atar
*Note: if you like spicy food, these really just aren’t that spicy so up the sriracha or, better yet, throw in some cayenne you crazy thing, you.
How To Do It
Preheat oven to 400 F. Bake for 30-40 minutes or until crispy.